Why I am starting this glob (The Q-Lisha Legacy)

Let me preface this entry by saying I am a Pre-k teacher in Knoxville. It seems that in any social setting I am in, someone will inevitably ask me to share a story from school about my kids. I guess in the tradition of “Kids say the darndest things”, these stories have had to be repeated and told time and time again. This glob (thanks Nina Gordon) will hopefully help me keep track of the stories as well as share them with the world.

My first entry into the globbing world will consist of the classic Q-lisha story as well as one that happened today. I am fairly sure that I can provide a new story for each day. However, should a dull and “no story” day occur in the classroom, I have a plethora of classic tales that I can draw upon. Ok – here goes….

Q-Lisha

I had a 4 yr old african-american child in my class about 5 years ago. She would act out American Idol with the others girls of the classroom using Barbies. On this particular day, her Barbie strutted on the stage in a hot pink mini skirt and a black bra. The three girls who were the judges promptly asked the contestant her name, to which she shouted “QLISHA.” When asked how to spell that, the response was (in an irritated tone) “Q—LISHA!!!” The judges were startled but went ahead and asked Qlisha what she would be singing. Qlisha replied “She be comin round the mountain IF she come.” Qlisha seemed to know the other meaning of the word “come”, you know, the one usually spelled with a “u.” When Qlisha had finished cummin round the mountain, the judges were in shock. Little did they know they were in for an encore…

“I be singin another song for you” Qlisha said. Before the judges could object, Qlisha informed them that the finale would be a classic from Britney Spears (in Qlisha dialect, Spears is pronounced Speearas). She then slowly spread eagle while ‘I’m a slaaaaaaave – for you” sprang from her mouth, prompting one judge to cover her eyes.  When the striptease had ended Qlisha (with one no-nippled breast exposed) sauntered off the stage and into infamy. Long may she live.

Pre-K Tale for July 2nd

A girl in my class was telling me things she had done while at the beach the previous week.  She was very excited to share that she had found treasure on the beach. When I asked what treasure had been discovered, I was told she found a “pissin’ cup.” After several prompts by myself to ask her again what she had found, I was left with an image of a sippy cup filled to the brim with urine. I will update in the next blog if I discover what in the hell a pissin cup really is… Stay tuned.